Drivers, bicycles, walkers in my way

When I'm driving, all the bicyclists are hazards, taking up half a lane, slowing things down, darting between cars. All the walkers are hazards,  jaywalking, crossing against the light, not even looking when crossing.

When I'm biking, all the cars are hazards, passing and then turning right cutting me off acting like I don't even exist. The walkers are hazards, chaotically stepping back and forth like squirrels.

When I'm walking, all the cars are hazards, not stopping for the crosswalk or slipping through the light. The bicyclists are hazards, coming straight at you swerving who knows which direction at the last minute.

Whatever it is, other people are the worst.

Grammar Nazis invade The Gambia and the Bahamas

There was a recent kerfuffle over a slip in diplomatically proper language, referring to the country of 'Ukraine' as 'the Ukraine' which is bothersome to many people in that country. Why it is bothersome is an entire story to itself. What came out of such kerfuffling is educating us all about proper ways of addressing countries, just like war is what teaches Americans about geography. But, out of curiosity, what exactly are the countries whose names begin with 'the'?

But that is the silliest of trivia questions, built on a number of arbitrary settings.

The only official such names? What is official? The CIA fact book? Who died and made them an authority? Oh, lots of spies. On all sides.

There's the official name in dictionaries. There's diplomacy. There is the natural ways of saying things. There is legal specification. And we've all forgotten that a lot depends on what language you're speaking in. There is what you call a country, what the country's name is, what the official name is, what you call the official name, and even what the country just is. OK those last two really are just straight of Lewis Carrol.

In pretty much any language, they use articles like 'the' differently. In American English you go to -the- hospital, but in the UK you go to hospital - for an American it sounds like there was a glitch in the tape and you forgot to say something, for the Brit in the US you wonder which hospital exactly are you talking about. Whenever you take a foreign language,at some point in the grammar lessons there is a section on "Which countries get a weird article in front of them". In English it is 'Switzerland', in German it is 'Die Schweiz'. In French, -all- countries have an article (with gender to remember). In Russian no country (or word) gets a 'the' (one of the very few times where Russian is simpler). Languages are weird, even your own, but you don't notice or don't care because that's just the way you do it. But in other languages even the slightest difference is jarring.

Back to trivia. The answer to the question, which must have artificial restrictions placed on the answers to work 'well' is (what does the CIA factbook say), in English the official names with 'the' are:

The Gambia
The Bahamas

Also 'The' is usually but not always capitalized in The Gambia, but never for the Bahamas. So much for consistency.

Those are their labels on maps and are the only ones with articles before their names on maps. But maps ain't what say what people actually use in language. There are a handful of additional examples for non-maps, for narratives. Possibly not headlines which have rules of their own.

Normal people, even smart ones, will say and use in writing:

The Netherlands
The Maldives
The Philippines

Sure, the title of the Wikipedia page is 'Philippines', but every mention of 'Philippines' in the article is preceded by 'the'. Every. And island groups, which are plural, take 'the' in English, whether countries or not.

And surprisingly few mentions have been made of the very obvious need for an article in:

The Central African Republic
The Czech Republic
The Dominican Republic
The Soviet Union
The United Arab Emirates
The United Kingdom
The United States

which get a 'the' whether abbreviated or not.

Sure, 'the Ukraine' has vague connotations 'that' area of the Russian/Soviet Empire and just isn't used anymore except as an anachronism. Frankly, I don't see how Ukrainians themselves perceive any such negative insinuations, since Ukrainian, like the very similar language Russian, has no articles at all, not just none for countries.

But anyway, we should call them as they ask, Ukraine.

For completeness sake, the countries like Ukraine which used to have a the (again for many different reasons), but just do not anymore, are:

The Congo
The Lebanon
The Sudan
The Ukraine
The Yemen

Those similarly sound colonial in English, and are just not used anymore.

The Crimea on the other hand...

When I say "I heard about a study that ..."

Here's a fascinating thing I heard the other day. And how I have to incrementally correct myself in retelling it:

I heard about a thing.
I think I heard about a thing.
I remember thinking what I heard about the thing.
I am reporting what I remember thinking what I heard about the thing.
I am reporting earnestly what I remember thinking what I heard about the thing.

The thing is usually some new finding from a scientific investigation:

It was a scientific study.
It was the final results of a scientific study.
It was the final primary result of a scientific study.
It was a media article about the final primary result of a scientific study.
It was the headline of a media article about the final primary result of a scientific study.

The scientist had an idea about a new pattern that seemed to fit with a new explanation for patterns that other scientists couldn't explain.

The scientist gathered some data.
The scientist gathered some data and noted some patterns.
The scientist gathered some data, noted some patterns, and analyzed the patterns statistically.
The scientist gathered some data, noted some patterns, analyzed the patterns statistically, and wrote a report on the multiple, nuanced conclusions one can draw from the analysis.

And this is all when things are done well.

Books That Tell You The Categories Of Books

The classic first section of "If on a winter's night a traveler...' by Italo Calvino, 1979 (tr. from Italian, 1981, by William Weaver):

You are about to begin reading Italo Calvino's new novel, "If on a winter's night a traveler..." ...
In the shop window you have promptly identified the cover with the title you were looking for. Following this visual trail, you have forced your way through the shop past the thick barricade of Books You Haven't Read, which were frowning at you from the tables and shelves, trying to cow you. But you know you must never allow yourself to be awed, that among them there extend for acres and acres the Books You Needn't Read, the  Books Made For Purposes Other Than Reading, Books Read Even Before You Open Them Since They Belong To The Category Of Books Read Before Being Written. And thus you pass the outer girdle of ramparts, but then you are attacked by the infantry of the Books That If You Had MoreThan One Life You Would Certainly Also Read But Unfortunately Your Days Are Numbered. With a rapid maneuver you bypass them and move into the phalanxes of the Books You Mean To Read But There Are Others You Must Read First, the Books Too Expensive Now And You'll WaitTill They're Remaindered, the Books ditto When They Come Out In Paperback, Books You Can Borrow From Somebody, Books That Everybody's Read So It's As If You Had Read Them, Too. Eluding these assaults, you come up beneath the towers of the fortress, where other troops are holding out:

the Books You've Been Planning To Read For Ages,
the Books You've Been Hunting For Years Without Success,
the Books Dealing With Something You're Working On At The Moment,
the Books You Want To Own So They'll Be Handy Just In Case,
the Books You Could Put Aside Maybe To Read This Summer,
the Books You Need To Go With Other Books On Your Shelves,
the Books That Fill You With Sudden, Inexplicable Curiosity, Not Easily Justified.

Now you have been able to reduce the countless embattled troops to an array that is, to be sure, very large but still calculable in a finite number; but this relative relief is then undermined by the ambush of the Books Read Long Ago Which It's Now Time To Reread and the Books You've Always Pretended To Have Read And Now It's Time To Sit Down And Really Read Them.

With a zigzag dash you shake them off and leap straight into the citadel of the New Books Whose Author Or Subject Appeals To You. Even inside this stronghold you can make some breaches in the ranks of the defenders, dividing them into New Books By Authors Or On Subjects Not New (for you or in general) and New Books By Authors Or On Subjects Completely Unknown (at least to you), and defining the attraction they have for you on the basis of your desires and needs for the new and the not new (for the new you seek in the not new and for the not new you seek in the new).

There's also a murder mystery.