Words have meanings but we don't always know how to say exactly what they mean. We can use words themselves, but using words o describe words is so much harder.
The latest in workplace advice, the difference between male and female speaking styles, says that there are a few key words that women should just not use.
The word is 'just'. Women tend to use it more than men. And they are advised that using it makes them look weak. Not confident.
I'm here to mansplain that they're doing it wrong. That they're explaining the use of the word wrong. They have a point, that 'just' is a kind of 'weasel' word, one that weakens impact, that deflects confrontation, that pulls its punches, that
It's just that in my testosterone fueled autistic-spectrum inspired pedanticism, I must point out (as opposed to 'I just want to say') exactly which kind of 'just' is weak mousy wall-flower, and which is the manly man's cudgel.
Some examples
- I just wanted to ask you
Weasel. Just ask. Ha ha. 'Ask'. No that doesn't sound as good. 'Just ask' is just the right thing. Argh. Is the right thing.
- I just finished the report
Not weasel. It's more precise timing. 'I finished is not precise'. Of course you probably should have finished it at 3am, not last night because that shows procrastination, but 2 weeks ago because that shows you will work non-stop.
- I just happened to notice you've been coming in later.
Weasel ('happened to' is somewhat weak too). Say "I noticed you've been...". No, say 'You've been...". No. Say "Come in earlier". Oh, this is to your boss? Say "You've been working so hard lately".
- I just came by to ...
Weasel. This is classic weak deflection. I agree that this is not confident. For this I think they are right. Use "I'd like to talk to you about..." not too intrusive but not so easy to dismiss (nobody wants to be annoyingly interruptive, but sometimes you have to).
- I know just where those files are.
Not weasel. Means 'exactly'. Perfectly appropriate. Be confident and stick with this usage instead of blindly removing all uses of 'just'.
- I am just trying to relay this information to you.
Weasel. Translated "I don't have enough time to explain. Take your hand out of the blender before you turn it on".
- A just tuning does not allow the freedom of changing key as a well-tempered one
Not weasel. This is a technical term in music. I had to throw that one in. Words are complicated.
- Just a minute.
Weasel. Instead use "No, Thursday's out. How about never - is never good for you?"
- My decision to fire half our firemen was well thought out and just.
Not weasel. No one thinks this is a bad use of ;just' (except for the firemen). I just wanted... grits teeth)... I want to give an example of where blind elimination is catching perfectly strong uses. 'Just' as a synonym of 'fair' is slightly manly because it comes from 'justice' even though an eye-for-an eye is a little more macho.
And since we're thinking of false positives and false negatives, why aren't dudes just told to use 'just' more?
Executive summary: don't use 'just' as an adverb, all other uses are fine. Or just use it all you want and embrace cooperation and nuance.
Examples of bad^H^H^Hfemale^H^H^H^H^H^Hdeprecated usage from "Just" say no:
"I just wanted to check in on …"
"Just wondering if you'd decided between …"
"If you can just give me an answer, then …"
"I'm just following up on …"
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